change your conflict
  • Home
  • About
  • HOW TO CHANGE
    • Separation and Divorce Mediation
    • Marriage Mediation
    • Business Mediation
    • Training
  • VOICES
  • Resources
  • Contact

conflict change
speaks

What Miss Marple Knows...words can wound

8/4/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
Agatha Christie, borrowed from Omar Khayyam for the title, The Moving Finger.  In his famous Rubiayat, Khayyam ponders the truth that time moves on and we cannot call it back or erase what has happened (Verse 51).  In her book, Christie explores the impact of a poison pen writer in a small village.  Needless to say the letters are not the only subject matter of Miss Marple's investigation. In fact, the letters are a diversion to attract attention away from the real crimes. Miss Marple sees beyond the words.

In conflict, and in the heat of anger, words can be weapons.  We have all done it.  The red mist descends and before we realise it, we have said something hurtful and cruel.  We have made a threat, the closer to a real fear the better.  If we are lucky then these words are forgiven or forgotten and our relationship continues.  However, if we are in an ongoing conflict or in a separation then these words can come back to haunt us.

I can recall many mediations where the angry words spoken by one party are used to justify the fears or positions of the other party.  It may have taken a microsecond for the words to come out of our mouths, but the tail is long. 

The reality is that we are all capable of saying terrible things when we are angry.  As humans we need to acknowledge that whilst words are important, we are all capable of speaking without thinking. 

As Miss Marple and Omar Khayyam know we cannot go back in time to change them, we can only change things going forward.  We cannot ask people to trust us, we can only show them through our actions that trust can be rebuilt. 

​

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    May 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    May 2017
    November 2016

    Categories

    All
    Arbitration
    Business Mediation
    Conflict
    Events
    Family Mediation
    Flow
    Mediation
    Negotiation
    Psychology

    RSS Feed

Privacy Policy
The information contained in this website is for general information only and is provided without any representations or warranties. You should seek independent legal, financial, mental health or other advice in relation to your specific circumstances.

Hours

By appointment only

Email

sala@conflictchange.com

All rights reserved. 2020 Conflict Change Consulting Limited
  • Home
  • About
  • HOW TO CHANGE
    • Separation and Divorce Mediation
    • Marriage Mediation
    • Business Mediation
    • Training
  • VOICES
  • Resources
  • Contact